i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
