grandma shit on top of the toilet
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
