So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
