I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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