His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
