dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
