I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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