Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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