I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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