Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
