you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
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