I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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