even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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