wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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