Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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