It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
