I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
