I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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