If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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