I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
