Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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