can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
All I want is dick and wine.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
