how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
