You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
