Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
