I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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