can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
