Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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