how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
