ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize