look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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