But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
