I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
