my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
