I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize