why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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