matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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