so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
