Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I got inside last night via doggy door
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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