I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
