I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
