Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
