I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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