just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
