Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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