I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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