I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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