you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
