he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
