I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
