Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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