What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
