I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
