Kiss
Puke
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
