She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
