Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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