if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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