ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
