Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
