How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I got inside last night via doggy door
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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