I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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