He told me they were just razor bumps!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
